An Unconventional Path

Chapter 6- “HER”

As Molly opened the drawer, she realized she needed to give it quite a tug. It wasn’t easy. She had to admit to herself how much she wanted to know what was inside.

She was determined to find out.

The thin drawer finally opened. Overlaying the drawer was a piece of wood. It reminded Molly of the document protectors she used in the old days back in college when she would turn in her English Assignments. Those were made out of plastic, this was much more intricate and the smell of the wood was divine.  

Molly closed her eyes for a moment, knowing the inevitable was soon to come. She paused just to feel, just to smell, just to BE with the moment.

Her lungs filled with the smoky scent of walnut, fresh and clean yet old and musty at the same time. With one final breath Molly removed the thin piece of wood to reveal the contents of the old drawer.

Inside was a small document document wrapped in thick brown ribbon.  

“An Unconventional Path, her life, her way, her lead” was written in red and gold across the top.

Chills ran through her body.

“What does that even mean?” She heard herself say.

Her eyes continued to follow the page. The typewriter font was old and faded, she had to squint to make out the next phrase.

“LISTEN,” she read.

Hmm strange, thought Molly to herself. What am I supposed to make of this?

Secretly this is what Molly had been wanting, asking for. Yet sitting here with even the slight possibility that she would discover an answer left her feeling beyond uncomfortable.  

She was nervous. She sat there staring at the ancient book.

Her resistance was strong, her doubt was strong, but her curiosity was even stronger.

She continued reading….

“You will transcend old patterns and beliefs and allow a new direction to take place. Please understand this process is potent and will take you places inside yourself you have yet to go. It is intended that this soul-led process will align your personal will with God’s will in your life. Inside of this process you are consciously activating your next level in accordance with your soul. Uncover your soul-led focus and allow yourself to honor your unconditional path. The path that is calling you forward may be different then the path you are currently taking.”

Molly stopped for a minute, she felt the words deeply. She thought about her career, her energy, how the joy in her life was not as present as she would like it to be. She thought about how she was disconnected and wanted more in her life. Yet in some ways she wanted less. She longed for simplicity, impact, and grace…

She thought about the current direction in her life and how she had been sensing that something needed to change, but she didn’t know what. Her mind drifted to the possibilities, but she couldn’t even see them.

What path? She thought.

I have been following a PLAN.

She had to admit her ‘plan’ had worked out pretty well for her in her life, until recently. If she was honest with herself she felt she had come to a dead end. She wasn’t sure what the plan was from here. She was out of ideas, motivation and direction.

But what does this mean, a path?

She continued on with the secret document.

Her concern was not enough to stop her. She longed to know what was next.  

“Answer the following questions…

“I am most at peace when….”

“I feel most alive when….”

“When I am quiet inside what I hear is…”

“My soul is asking me to….”

Molly sat with herself as she looked at the questions.

I don’t understand, she thought to herself, were these questions written for me? What is this?

Resistance gripped her.

As much as she wanted to enter the process, the fear of what she would discover was so strong. What if I do this and nothing changes? Even worse, she thought to herself, what if I do this and everything changes? What if it doesn’t work for me? What if… it does?

Questions swirled inside of her as she looked at the blank page.  

If I only knew the answers.  

“TRUST,” Molly heard herself saying out loud.  

I must trust. I can trust. What do I have to lose? They are just a couple of innocent questions.

Even as she said it she knew she was lying to herself. Intuitively she felt the questions were a key, an opening to something inside. What she didn’t know was how to answer them or where they would lead.

Ok, she said to herself. I am going to trust that the response I require is in me somewhere.

She took her time and answered the first question.  

“I am most at peace when….”

When I am with Mark lying on the bed. When I look into the boys’ eyes. When I am one with life. When I am in the flow. When I pray.

Pray? She thought. I don’t often do that. Well except the other day when I…suddenly she remembered the day in her office when Mark had closed the door.


As she completed question one, the room became brighter and she felt lighter.

She continued.

“I feel most alive when….”

When I am helping others. When I am writing. This surprised her. Hmmm I thought I didn’t like my writing anymore? No, that is not true, I love it–it is the pressure and lack of substance I feel when I feel like I have to…

She continued.

When I am in love with something. When I create. When I walk by the ocean. When I see Mark smile. When the boys laugh. When I see a beautiful sunset. When I see a bird flying and I slow down to watch. When I slow down, she thought to herself, realizing that it had been a long time since she had slowed down.  

When I feel the presence of God.

She stopped.

She had not thought of God much lately. When she was young she felt very connected and yet as she grew older the man in the sky theory no longer resonated to her. She knew she wanted to feel closer, to know she was living on purpose, but her relationship with God felt limited. She had gotten very used to making things happen on her own. It felt safer to her in some way. She felt less dependent, less needy, more in control.

God…she thought to herself.

An even brighter light filled the room, wrapping her in a warm orange glow.

It continued. With each response the room became brighter, and she felt lighter.

“When I am quiet inside what I hear is…”

Teach. Share. Open yourself.  

What does that mean? She asked herself out loud. I have never thought of myself as much of a teacher. I mean I write books and people seem to like them, but I am not teaching, she thought to herself. What does this mean? Am I supposed to be a teacher?

The orange light now filtering into a soft yellow hue.

“My soul is asking me to….”

To write, to share, to love…to LEAVE.

“LEAVE?” she questioned out loud. What in the hell is that supposed to mean? Leave what? Who? When? Why?

She had no idea what this meant and once again found herself feeling uncomfortable.

Fidgeting in her chair she was tempted to run.

Run where? She asked inside. Where would I run? I have no idea where I even am… All I know is…

What do I even know?


I know that…

She closed her eyes.

What do I know?

I know something is happening here, I can feel I am being guided. Something powerful is unfolding inside of me and…I am going to be ok.


The room went dark.

For a moment she wondered if she should feel frightened.

But she wasn’t.

She was ok and she knew it.

Her eyes peered through the dark and she squinted back to the document in her hands.

She could feel something with her fingers.

The next portion of the document was sealed in some sort of envelope. There was something holding the envelope closed.

It was in the shape of an oval and she could barely make out a faint image of a P with her fingers. For a moment Molly considered not opening the document, maybe it was meant to stay closed.  

But she couldn’t help it, she continued.

In the dark.

With precise hands, Molly used her nail to carefully lift around the wax seal as to keep the beauty of it intact. She felt oddly present, as though each move had grace, power and impact.

The seal lifted easily from the paper behind it and Molly felt a rush of energy.

The room filled the most gorgeous hue of translucent blue she had ever seen. She felt warm and cocooned.

A smaller document was folded inside the envelope.

Inside she found another little note.

“Follow the below exactly as it is, do not skip a section. Trust your answers and allow your inner knowing to come forward. By the end of this document you will have a clear answer of the unconventional path that is being called forward inside of you at this time.”

As she sat there she felt a shift inside of herself that she was not expecting. Molly had not ever considered another path for her life. Wasn’t this what she was supposed to do? She had always been a planner and it allowed her to feel in control, to go for things in her life. Most often she got where she intended.

But right now in her life, she was realizing that what she had planned wasn’t working for her. She felt tired, and sometimes even sad.  

Molly surrendered and committed to the process. She didn’t know where it was going to lead or what was truly possible for her.

She spent hours at the table, each page guiding her deeper and deeper into the process.

By the end she received the answers she was seeking.

She knew in a way she had never known before.

When she was finished, there it was right in front of her!

The direction she was requiring to move into that would provide the fulfillment she was seeking.  

It was right there!

How could she have missed it before? How was this hidden from her, it seemed so obvious now.

She didn’t want to believe it! How could it be?  

She smiled with a sense of relief.

A smaller document was folded inside the envelope.

If she honored it, it would lead her in a different direction. It would take courage.  

In some ways, she would be risking it all. In another way, if she didn’t follow it, she was risking her soul.  

She knew that now.

On the bottom of the page she saw a handwritten note, it appeared to be in a woman handwriting.

“Before you go on, before you complete you must say YES. You must surrender to this process. You must commit and you must allow your soul to led.”

Molly read the words on the page and immediately felt the urge to move. This time she could not continue to sit still.

She got up from the table to stretch her legs. She realized she had been sitting in the same spot ever since she arrived. Venturing to the other side of the kitchen, she saw it.  

Right there in front of her was a 1942 bottle of Barolo.  

She gasped as she remembered her dream!

What was happening? She felt an intense swirl of energy around her, a deeply calming, yet, energetic knowing that something was deep at work.  

She picked up the bottle to examine the label she saw a little note underneath.

“Share this with her, share it ALL with her.”

“Who is her?” Molly asked again out loud by this time getting used to having vocal conversations with herself.

Molly took the bottle of wine back to the table with her, feeling now that she truly wasn’t alone.

Turning over the bottle she inspected it for a clue.

The bottle was from Tuscany. She stared at the label hoping for some sort of direction.  

Who was ‘her’?

“Can I get a name please?” She said out loud.

At the very bottom of the label Molly saw something that caught her attention. It was an old vintage label but it was still in good tact.

“ESTATE ALL’ORIGINE DI PASQUALE ITALIA”

From her very limited Italian, Molly could determine that the wine was made by the Pasquale Estate.

A chill ran up her back, already knowing the answer she ran outside and looked to the right of the door.

There was an old wooden plaque that read

“Benvenuti Estate Pasquale.”

She was in the winery where this bottle was created. Pasquale she whispered, having a feeling the name was somehow important. My dream, the driver, the phone call…  

Molly came to her knees in tears. She knew in an instant she had been guided here to this very spot. She knew her life was more than what she realized.

There were so many questions she had and yet in the silence of the night only one thing was clear.  

She had to let go of what she thought she needed and surrender to something much bigger.

She had to let go of her identity and of her false sense of safety. There was more for her in this life and she felt it. She felt more support than ever before. Even though she did not know how, she knew she was committed and she knew she would be ok.

As she lay exhausted on the front step of the winery she began to cry.

A shudder ran up her spine. She felt an integration inside her body like never before. Molly looked up at the clear night sky and felt like she could soar.  

She felt one with life, one with creation and ONE with her soul.

Yes, she said in a whisper. Yes, I will surrender. I will follow you and I will EMBODY what my soul is requiring of me in this lifetime. Lead me. I say YES!