It was a typical Sunday morning…
“Typical” for us anyway…we were on our way to a soccer game for my older son. Both of my boys have always loved soccer, and it has been a powerful way for them to connect and integrate. When we moved to France, one of the first things we did was enroll them in soccer. So when we moved down here to the Outer Banks, we knew soccer was a top priority.
Over the past 6 weeks since school started, my son quickly established himself on the team. He was chosen as a starter over 70 kids and quickly became a ‘go-to’ on the team. He was one of the top scoring boys every game and had just been named “Player of the Game” last week over the loudspeaker at school. If I sound like I am bragging…I probably am a bit ;). I am a proud mama…
But–here is where it gets good (well good in the grand scheme of things–it certainly didn’t feel good).
We always set our intentions before the game and my son continued before we got to the field Sunday morning.
“My intention is to play well, to use my strength, to play striker, to win…This or something even better for the highest good of all concerned. Amen”
And off we went to park the car and find our spot on the bleachers.
I said hello to some of the moms, as we are just starting to find a rhythm and connect with some of the parents.
With our Lucy, our Bichon Havanese on my lap, I began to cheer. Much to my 11-year old’s dismay, as he always says I am too loud and embarrassing.
“Ok fine,” I thought to myself and I headed down the sidelines to get a closer look at the action and cheer as loud as I wanted.
The action began…
My son stole the ball away from the other team and was racing down the field. One on one with another kid. My son pulled up ahead and the other kid came up behind him and leaned into him hard from behind as the ball was passed to a teammate. Finding himself balancing on one leg as he passed the ball and was hit from behind…he had nowhere else to go but DOWN.
I screamed from the sidelines.
I saw my son try to stand…he could not.
“Take a knee, take a knee!!!!”
The parents were shouting (this is what a player does when he is too hurt to continue and needs a time out).
My son took to his knee.
At this point from the sidelines, I probably looked like a lunatic, scared for my son and screaming at the referee for a time out!
Coach S walked on the field and helped my son off.
Hoping for a quick shrug off and getting back into the game, my heart sank as I saw the coach motion to my husband to join him on the sidelines.
Our son’s shoulder was completely crooked; he was holding his shoulder and wincing in pain.
Off to the ER we went…
7 hours later we had a diagnosis of a severe broken collarbone and chipped shoulder bone.
The doctor looked at my son and told him he might need surgery…and that
He was out of playing soccer for the remainder of the season!!
I couldn’t breathe…”’this is his life,” I thought to myself.
My mind raced with anger, frustration, and sadness.
“What will he do? He has practice 4 days a week, games every weekend..we have planned our weekends around this…”
My mind continued to race.
I looked at my son with tears in my eyes.
“I am so sorry buddy,” I said. “I know how important this is to you.”
He looked at me and said…
“Mom, it sucks, but I will be ok. Liam is second string and can now get more playing time and this gives me a chance to practice my juggling skills and use my right foot.” (he is a lefty.)
I just stared at him…
THAT is when I knew
&^%$, it happened AGAIN.
I was allowing my identity to get caught up in something; I was becoming attached to what this was SUPPOSED to look like…UGHHHHHHH seriously?
Oui, Oui…yes, I am human.
My sons eyes were bright and wide; it was clear he was still in a lot of pain and processing all that was about to change…and yet he was open to receiving what was for him in that moment. He surrendered, he allowed, and in the process, he EMBODIED a deeper truth.
He embodied his NOW…
As we drove home, I knew I would have some journaling of my own to do and some teasing apart of my own attachments. Thank God, I have my Femmes and a process for that.
Today, I see the beauty. Although it is true, the rest of the season is not going to look like what we thought…
We are choosing as a family to EMBODY what is.
Next up? A fall weekend apple picking trip that we were not going to be able to take due to sports schedules and a surprise opportunity for my youngest to play in a tournament that there originally wasn’t room for…
So today, I am inviting you to acknowledge your now, let go of anything that is not serving and surrender to allowing things to be as they are, rather than how you think they should be…and if (just by chance;), you are finding things looking a little different than you thought they would and not loving it at the moment… receive a breath, remember you are human and doing the best you can and that IS always enough.
With love, beauty and lots of permission,
PS. To get a peek inside my newly released Embody training and join us for an epic discovery of your Soul-Led focus, click here for all the details.
click here for all the details.
PPS. I’d love to hear your comments, questions and insights about this. Leave a comment below.