Chapter 3 – F
“MOLLY STANLEY?” Are you sure?
“Well, yeah, they just told me on the phone. Apparently, she has written a couple of really good books, and she is doing a special book signing tour in Italy. Why?”
“Wait Sue, there are a lot of Molly Stanley’s do you know anything more about her?”
“Well, that she is traveling with her family, her husband and boys are with her on the tour. It sounds so amazing, doesn’t it? Traveling with your family, having a successful career, being a famous author…doing a book signing in Italy. She sounds amazing.”
“Ok Sue look I have to go now,” she said abruptly. “I am so thankful for the tickets, but look–I really can’t go.”
“WHAT?” her sister yelled.
“What do you mean you can’t go? Are you crazy? What are you talking about? Of course you can go, they will give you the time work! You work like crazy for them; they have to!”
Sue was putting on her best “listen to me voice” she could–as a little sister.
“It’s not that, it’s not work. They would give me the time, they would have to…it’s just that…”
“It’s just that WHAT?” Sue was shouting.
“What is it then? You aren’t scared of flying. You can’t use the excuse of money because it’s all paid for…I don’t understand.” Sue now sounded not only perplexed but concerned about her older sister.
“It’s not about any of that…I can’t go because of Molly.”
“Molly? Who is Molly? What are you talking about?” Sue asked in her true innocent nature.
“MOLLY, MOLLY, THE MOLLY. The one you just told me about–the author!”
“Wait you know her? How do you know her, she is so…”
“Just say it, Sue–successful! Right, I get it, how would I know a super successful woman like that! Believe me; I have been beating myself up about that all night!” Her voice was tight and scratchy. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Was this some sick joke?
She suddenly remembered falling asleep last night and saying a bit of a prayer.
What was that prayer she thought to herself?
God, please help me, guide me, show me what is mine…”
Oh f*&^, she muttered under her breath.
“What?” Sue asked. “What did you just say? Did you just drop an F-bomb on the phone?”
“Look this isn’t easy, I feel like a fraud in my own life, I am not married, I have no kids, sure I have a great job but…really Sue? Really? Is this what my life is about? I can’t help but wonder if there is more for me? Like there is SUPPOSED to be more for me? I thought my life was going to be special,–to mean something and here I am ALONE! I feel like I have more to give to the world and I am just…”
Sue sat silent. She knew her older sister had always wanted a family. She had no idea how much pain she was in. As she looked down at her own growing belly, she felt guilty. She had an amazing husband, and she was expecting her first child. They didn’t have a lot of money, but she was happy. She didn’t need anything else.
Her sister was different, she always had been. She wanted to explore the world, to travel, to live a life of excitement. She knew her sister didn’t let herself live the way she wanted. So often, she worried about her older sister. It was why she included her in all her Sweepstakes adventures. She thought it was a way to keep her dreams alive and get her out of her shell.
“Look–listen, I am sorry. I didn’t realize how much pain you were in. I still don’t understand why you won’t go though? It sounds like a trip to Italy is exactly what you need right now. What exactly does this have to do with Molly?” Sue responded patiently, supporting her sister.
“Ok…I knew Molly back in college and last night I thought of her and wondered what she was up to and…I did IT.”
“NO, you didn’t!’ Sue screamed, ‘Tell me you didn’t do it!”
“I did and it was awful. I did THE FACEBOOK!”
Sue began to crack up.
“Come-on, tell me you didn’t? Oh my gosh, you know how horrible that is! That is everyone’s best. It is like looking at a glamour shot photo from the 80’s. Wait, that’s a bad example because those photos are horrendous. Seriously though, it’s like torture!”
“I know, I wish I hadn’t done it. She looks so good and she has over 80k followers!”
“What oh my gosh, she is way out of your…”
“I didn’t mean to, I am sorry. It is just crazy, how did she get to where she is? What happened? Do her parents have money? What was she like in college? Did she marry rich? How did she get all her success?”
“I don’t know Sue and I am certainly not going to find out. I can not go to Italy and meet with her!”
“What are the odds?” Sue chuckled. “I mean this is some pretty crazy coincidence!”
Her eyes followed the sunlight that was now streaming in her room. Her sister’s voice was beginning to fade. Her head felt heavy and her breath shallow, the room suddenly looked very small.
She couldn’t breathe. Something wasn’t right.
She dropped the phone and fell to the floor.
Sue heard the phone drop and a loud crash.
“Are you there? Are you ok? Sis, answer me!”