I’ve been loving hearing from you all in the inbox. Trying to keep up:).
I got a message today from a woman who said she’s having difficulty prioritizing herself over her family.
Her exact words were, “I always fear I’ll upset my husband if I focus on me. I’d really love some encouragement from a man in this area of attending to my needs vs pretending I don’t have any needs of my own in order to have time to endlessly give to everyone else.”
Here’s my take and some suggestions that may support you if you’ve ever had these thoughts. I have a lot to say on this so I’ll be sending a “Part 2” tomorrow.
1. Open communication
Open communication with your partner is key. My intention for you is that you are in or find a partner who’s willing to let you be vulnerable with your conversations.
I grew up as an only child with my father.
My mom died when I was 3, so it was just the old man and me.
He’s fantastic, and over the years, I’ve seen him open up like a set of French doors.
But when I was a kid, it wasn’t like that.
We didn’t talk about emotions or feelings. If we fought, we went to bed, and when we woke up, we acted like nothing had happened the night before.
I’m sharing this so you can see that I didn’t come into my relationship with Tara as some perfect, emotionally available man. Far from it.
On the other hand, Tara has always been Mrs. “Let’s talk about it.” How do you feel? What do you want? Etc.
Basically, she’s the person a closed-up guy like me would have wanted to sit far away from at Thanksgiving dinner so that I didn’t have to get into my feelings.
But she cracked me open.
She talked to me. She was vulnerable herself and shared what she was thinking with me.
Her fears. Her desires. Her inner voices. Her frustrations.
And eventually, I started to model her behavior back to her.
So that’s the first thing. If you want him (or her) to understand where you’re coming from… What you desire… Then you have to be willing to have conversations about it.
And even if he’s not receptive at first, keep at it. After all, what you desire is at stake here.
2. Schedule time and let it be known
It’s ok to share with your partner that you are having some “me time” right now. Or tomorrow at noon. Or all-day Sunday.
His ass is probably playing golf on Sunday anyway. What’s he doing? He’s taking care of himself in his own way.
And that’s commendable.
We ALL need to do some things for ourselves. If we ONLY do things for other people, we’re going to be resentful.
Shit’s going to come out sideways because we feel passed over.
And then we make it worse because we cause a household argument when we lash out about the peanut butter being put on the wrong shelf…
But it wasn’t really about the peanut butter….
Deep down, you’re pissed that it’s Friday, and you didn’t do one Yoga session all week, and you promised yourself you would go three times this week.
Don’t do that. Schedule yourself into your schedule!
Now if you’re still here, you’re a champ. Thems a lotta words you just read. I appreciate you being here with me!
Tomorrow I’m coming to you with Part 2 on this topic I have 2 more suggestions on how you can prioritize you and not feel resentful for doing so.
Dave “700+ word email” Marino
PS. Update on my goals. I’ve gained 1/2 a pound since I started emailing. But I’ve been eating really well. I will add cardio today, my least favorite part of the workout routine to try to get back on track.
Also, I have been searching for a song for the new Moi promo. The music is critical in these videos as it creates the tempo and vibe.
This one is messing with me, but I’ll find it. Tara’s brand new Moi – A love Story program has an incredible Gift included… when you join, you also receive Feminine Edge, a $3333 value.
Here’s a gif that Tara might not have allowed me to use if she was here:)
ALSO: Whenever you’re ready… here are more ways Elegant Femme can support you.
1. The Beautiful Soul Led Podcast
Listen in as Tara shares her insights with you weekly. Available on all podcast platforms. New episodes will commence in April. You can catch up on episodes here
2. Femme Flow List
This is a unique daily process that helps you stay connected with yourself, your FemmeTypes and helps you feel on purpose each day. You can learn more here
3. Tara Paris
Beautifully crafted clothing made in Italy and designed by Tara. You can check out the collection here
And if you’re not interested in receiving my emails this month you can click here and you won’t hear back from Elegant Femme until Tara gets back in April.