I didn’t do what I said I was going to do

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Edgy yet chic, Timeless and powerful. Can drop an f bomb and mediates daily. Committed to growth and evolution.

Bonjour...I'm Tara

Sometimes it’s OK not to do what you said you would do.


Recently I had the experience of telling Tara I was going to do something, and I didn’t follow through.

BUT so far, I’m happy I haven’t done it.

Let me explain.

As you may know, recently Tara went on a silent retreat for five days.

She actually did it too. She wouldn’t talk to me. No texts either.

The nerve!

While she was gone, I took over the kitchen counter and made it my workspace.

My home office is having a heating/cooling issue, so I’ve been comfortable in our open kitchen.

Before she left, I told her I would start working from my uncle’s home, which is down the street. It’s his summer home so he’s not there.

I thought I would use the space and remove the temptation for Tara to jump into EF when she returned.

Well. That hasn’t happened. I’m still working in the kitchen!

Normally this sort of breach of commitment (that I made) would bother me. I’d feel incongruent in some way.

And it’s not always something I can identify in the moment.

It’s just a slight feeling of annoyance with myself. For not doing what I said I was going to do.


There’s a discernment we need to make.

Here’s how I do it.

I ask… How does going against what I initially said make me feel now… and in the future?

This is the discernment we need to make.

Often instant gratification is not the best for you in the long run.

Example. Ice cream would be so glorious melting in my mouth right now. I’d thoroughly enjoy it while I’m eating it.

But fast forward a few minutes, hours, days, or months and that ice cream might not serve me. Especially if I make it a consistent habit.

I said I wasn’t going to eat ice cream, so I’m not going to eat ice cream because it doesn’t pass the test.

I try to balance what’s good in the short and long term.

In the case of me working in the kitchen, Tara and I have been enjoying being around each other.

She’s been giving me space so that I can be productive.

I’ve been conscious of not bringing up Elegant Femme stuff to her so it’s working for both of us.

And I get to hang with her on our deck or say hello when I want. So it’s been really nice.

In transparency, it hasn’t always been easy for us to separate business from our personal life during the day.

But, we are currently doing it well.

So, for the time being, the kitchen is working for me… for us.

And I think it will be nice to work out of my uncle’s house in the coming days. We’ll see how it feels.

The moral of the story is it’s OK to change your mind about decisions if the new decision feels better.

Just be careful to make sure you’re balancing long/short-term consequences.

Don’t sacrifice what will make you happy in the long term for the short term.

That’s not easy to do. But you can do it.

I’m not perfect with it. But I’m aware, and being aware helps me make more good decisions.

One thing that will serve us in both the short and long term is self-love. To truly love who we are when times are good and not so good.

The focus of Tara’s new program, Moi – A love Story is to have you fall in love with yourself. If this speaks to you, then check it out here.

Thanks for being here with me. I’m honored to be sharing the space with you.

Be good.

Dave “haven’t had ice cream in 2 months” Marino

PS. The Moi video is getting close. Tomorrow? We’ll see.

I’m pretty sure I said I’d have it done already. But I’m happy with my effort and progress on it so I’m still loving myself in the process:)

ALSO: Whenever you’re ready… here are more ways Elegant Femme can support you.

  1. Tara’s next live program – Moi A Love Story
    A brand new program starting on April 4th. If you struggle prioritizing you, then Moi can help you shift out of that pattern. You can learn about it here
  2. The Beautiful Soul Led Podcast
    Listen in as Tara shares her insights with you weekly. Available on all podcast platforms. New episodes will commence in April. You can catch up on episodes here
  3. Women Living Fully Facebook group
    Elegant Femme’s free group filled with like minded women who are committed to their growth and evolution. Plenty of free programs and resources in the “guides section. You can join here
  4. Tara Paris
    Beautifully crafted clothing made in Italy and designed by Tara. You can check out the collection here

Dave Marino


Dave Marino fell in love with a girl when he was 24. After a shotgun wedding, he grew and evolved... He was stretched along the way by the original Elegant Femme, Tara Marino. Through a stroke of unforeseeable circumstances, he began writing newsletters and now a blog for Elegant Femme which covers his thoughts, struggles, & life lessons learned. Follow him on Instagram @thedavemarino. One day he may decide to post on there. 

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