Episode 69: Afraid you might outgrow him? The Power of Self-Actualizing in your relationship

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Edgy yet chic, Timeless and powerful. Can drop an f bomb and mediates daily. Committed to growth and evolution.

Bonjour...I'm Tara

As we grow and self-actualize, we take ownership of more and more of our identity. Today, I want to bring forward this intimate opportunity to trust ourselves and trust those we love, as we go down this path of self-actualization. If you’ve found yourself holding back for fear that you’re going to outgrow your spouse or those you’ve love or that you’ve settled or pull back from your highest self, then this is an episode that you’re going to want to listen to and reflect on. 

In this potent episode, you’ll hear: 

  • The common fear that a lot of our clients who are in relationships have [3:35]
  • How allowing ourselves to receive our desires can often feel scary [4:13]
  • Why it’s important to realize that our identity isn’t stagnant, and where the Indie FemmeType comes into play [5:44]
  • The programming we receive from society as women and what happens to this when we start to self-actualize [9:08]
  • Why numbing out and not self-actualizing is such a dangerous thing for us to do over the long-term [10:27]
  • How we can bring our loved ones along with us on this journey of self-actualization [13:01]
  • A reminder of the opportunity that exists by saying “Yes” to self-actualization every single day [14:12]

I hope this conversation inspires you and provides space for you to ask the tough questions of yourself and those around you, and to see where you may be showing up in ways that are less than who you really are. When you self-actualize and step into your Beautiful Soul-Led Life, it reflects to the people that you love that it is possible for them to do so too. 

If this conversation fuels you, I want to share that we are having our final chapter, our last Elegant Femme live event at the end of November. It will be a beautiful, intimate and gorgeous event on a private estate in Scottsdale, Arizona, and this event is intentionally created to set the stage for you to move into your Beautiful Soul-Led Life, and the bigness of your desires. For more information, you can email our team at info@elegantfemme.com

I would love to hear what resonated the most with you from this episode and what your own heartfelt next desire is. You can send me a DM on Instagram, or tag me @elegantfemme1.

Do you have a question that you would like answered on an upcoming episode of the podcast too? You can email us, info@elegantfemme.com, and if it’s a question that I think can bring value to the community and listeners, I could answer it on a future episode of this podcast! 

Also, If you haven’t already done this, you can opt-in to our email list at www.elegantfemme.com to keep up to date with all the gorgeous things we have coming for you, and I look forward to seeing you back here next week for a brand-new episode.  


“A lot of my clients that are in a relationship have a fear that they might leave their spouses behind, either intellectually, physically, emotionally or spiritually, if they gift themselves continued permission to grow.” [3:35] 

“When we’ve allowed ourselves to receive what we desire, it feels good and it feels amazing. The next desire can feel equally as scary, even though we know we’ve received what we wanted in the past.” [5:13] 

“It could be anyone that we love, but we try to wait for our spouse to catch up as if we are controlling this self-actualization for us and for them. As tempting as this is, and as much sense as this makes in the mind, it creates a lot of distance.” [8:49] 

“We come from a place of inferiority inside of ourselves, really asking externally outside of us for someone or something to gift ourselves permission to self-actualize. We wait for someone else to self-actualize and tell us it’s ok, [but] guess what, it never happens.” [12:10] 

“Being in the energy yourself of self-actualization reflects to the people that you love that it is possible [for them] to do so.” [13:01] 

Links & Resources: 

*link for Elegant Femme Live Event

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