These “rules” don’t serve you

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Edgy yet chic, Timeless and powerful. Can drop an f bomb and mediates daily. Committed to growth and evolution.

Bonjour...I'm Tara

A couple of days ago, Tara and I went for our evening walk on the beach with our little dogs.

The tide was up high and the ocean was rough.

This pushed our walk a little closer to the sand dunes than normal.

For Tara and I, it all felt pretty natural.

Move up the beach about 10 feet from the dunes, and we will stay dry and have an even footing on or walk.

Pic of the little rascals
Well. We forgot to tell our dogs this.

They had other ideas.

They were off-leash, and since we were now walking much closer to the dunes than usual, they saw another less-traveled path to take.

This path was more fun, and it was NEW for them.

The little rascals started walking through the 12-15 ft dunes. You’d think they discovered a new planet.

They were having a blast with all the sea oats and new smells to explore.

I let them have a little fun then we called them down like responsible parents are supposed to:)

But inside, I was laughing, and it reminded me of this important truth.

We all create rules in our heads of how things should be. How the world is. And then we live our lives through the guardrail with these rules.

But here’s the reality.

The rules/limitations are made up, and we can change them.

Just like Lucy and Olivia discovering sand dunes for the first time. We, too can discover new areas to explore for ourselves.

The first step is identifying rules we hold and then playing with them to expand them.

Examples of some rules:

I can’t dance without having a drink first. I’m not creative. I only stay in name brand hotels. I only buy things when they are on sale. A business must have 10+ employees before it can be financially successful. I’m too old to become an actor. Republicans are evil. Democrats are evil. All smoothies taste bad.

You get the idea. These rules can be anything. They can be positive or negative. However, it’s the negative ones that hold us back.

What’s important to recognize is that the rules we make shape our world.

They shape our experiences. They shape what’s possible for us.

There must be at least one flavor of smoothie that tastes good out there.

There must be a business that has less than ten employees that’s financially successful.

You get the point.

Here are some ways to expand your rules so you can go play in more sand dunes.

1 Identify what rules you have.

When you have feelings of limitation or restriction or “I can’t” thoughts, look under the hood and see what rules you have about that area.

2 Find proof that others (or you) already break the rules successfully.

Look in the world for proof that other people are breaking your rules. Sometimes the other people might have actually been you at another stage of your life.

If they can do it so can you… And If you could do it before you can certainly do it again!

Alright. Here we are once again.

You’re here. You made it. You made my day.

Be good.

Dave “running in the sand dunes” Marino

PS. Completely unrelated question for you. Have you ever gone on a cruise? I’ve decided to bring my 16 year old on one for Spring break while Tara goes on a girls vacation with her mother and sister.

Any suggestions for me?

I’m pretty sure I had a rule about cruises. IE I’m not a cruising person. I don’t go on cruises. Well… I just broke the rule and booked one:) And I’m scared to be on this boat with thousands of people fighting for some chair next to the pool. Lol.

PPS. If you’re called check out the new Moi video here… it’s hot! And if you join today you’ll save $1300!

I’ll see you tomorrow.

ALSO: Whenever you’re ready… here are more ways Elegant Femme can support you.

  1. Tara’s next live program – Moi A Love Story
    A brand new program starting on April 4th. If you struggle prioritizing you, then Moi can help you shift out of that pattern. You can learn about it here
  2. The Beautiful Soul Led Podcast
    Listen in as Tara shares her insights with you weekly. Available on all podcast platforms. New episodes will commence in April. You can catch up on episodes here
  3. Women Living Fully Facebook group
    Elegant Femme’s free group filled with like minded women who are committed to their growth and evolution. Plenty of free programs and resources in the “guides section. You can join here
  4. Tara Paris
    Beautifully crafted clothing made in Italy and designed by Tara. You can check out the collection here

Dave Marino


Dave Marino fell in love with a girl when he was 24. After a shotgun wedding, he grew and evolved... He was stretched along the way by the original Elegant Femme, Tara Marino. Through a stroke of unforeseeable circumstances, he began writing newsletters and now a blog for Elegant Femme which covers his thoughts, struggles, & life lessons learned. Follow him on Instagram @thedavemarino. One day he may decide to post on there. 

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